Bebe Akinboade
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CRACK YOUR RIBS

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THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SHAKARA AND ACTION
What is de difference between Shakara and Action?
Shakara, is when the IGP says he’ll deal with Boko Haram (without any actual plans):
Action is when Boko Haram bombs Police Headquarters the next day!!

HUSBAND AND WIFE
Husband and wife agreed that anytime they want to have sex, they will call it FONECALL so that the kids will not decode. One day the husband sends his son to tell mum that he wants to make a fonecall. Mum replies; tell your father that network is not good today. Husband replies: Tell your mum that if network is bad at home, I will go to a public fone boot. Wife replies: Tell your dad that if he dares go to a public fone, then I will open a business center!

MY UNCONDITIONAL LOVE
When I was younger I believed in unconditional love. I dated guys wit empty pockets, stingy a$$ dudes who would rather pretend to be broke than loan their mother 10 bucks. But it didn’t matter to me. Everything I have and ever wanted, I bought with my own money.
So whether a guy spent money on me or not, had a good car or not, or lived wit his parents at the age of 30, I wasn’t bothered. Instead I believed in ‘building wit my man’. The naïve little girl in me actually believed that ‘if u re with a man when he has nothing, he will always remember u when he has something’.
Fast forward a couple of years and throw in d speed bumps and punches of life, I am now a completely different person. Well maybe not totally different, just wiser and smarter and not ashamed to say so. From now on before I date a guy he must pass the financial acid test…… Good job, good car, nice flat, generous, with dollops of ambition and drive! Gone are the days where I was fasting and praying for a man to buy his first car only for him to put another woman in the front seat of my own car!. Haba!!! My mother didn’t raise no fool! I will fast and pray with you for that promotion, while the AC of your current car is blowing me on my face. I will get up and seek the Lord early in d morning for his salary increase when I’ve recovered from our romantic getaway in Paris or St Tropez. I will cook the best tasting efo riro soup & peppered snails known to man while I am in his fully fitted kitchen and furnished home. I will hold his hand through all of life’s ups and downs while he treats me like d princess I deserve to be whilst proving to me that he was raised by a queen. And if all this makes me a gold digger, then I’ll say it loud- I’m a proud one!!!

BB NA BB
BB na BB….weda CURVE or straight…BOLD or afraid. STORM or rain. TORCH or candle. We go still dey ping!! Shikena

A WOMAN AND HER 10 YEAR OLD SON
A woman and her ten-year-old son were riding in a taxi. It was raining and all the prostitutes were standing at the bus stop.
Boy: Mom what are those women doing?
Mom: They’re waiting for their husbands to get off work.
Taxi driver: lady, why don’t you tell him the truth? They’re hookers, boy! They have sex with men for money.”
Boy: Is that true, Mom?
His mother, glaring angrily at the driver, Answers yes.
After a few minutes, the kid asks: Mom, what happens to the babies those women have?
Mom: They become taxi drivers.

AN IBO MULTI- MILLIONAIRE
An Ibo multi-millionaire, Chief Remigus Ahamefuna Chukwudiefu, to maintain a mistress in Lagos, bought a house in Lekki-VGC (in his own name) for her to live in, plus gave her a monthly allowance of N500,000. The house cost him about N75,000,000 in 2005. He sold the house this year for N225 million, after they broke up. A quick calculation shows that after 5 years of a fling with the woman, he still had a net gain of N114 million plus six years of free sex.
When his wife (Lolo Anwulika Roseline Chikwudiefu) found out about this, she was very mad at him and gave him a big mouthful… She yelled at him and said…… BLOODY IDIOT!! Why the hell didn’t you keep two Mistresses!!!!

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