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IS YOUR HOUSE A HOME? – PASTOR TINUOLA AGBABIAKA

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A room is still a room, even when there’s nothing there but gloom
But a room is not a house, and a house is not a home
When the two of us are far apart
And one of us has a broken heart- Burt Bacharach

The above are the lyrics of the second verse an inspirational song made popular by the late Luther Vandross. I stumbled on it and it inspired the theme for the last event. It got me thinking about what actually is a home. I wondered about the many houses where the couple are either growing apart or have already done so and are just co-habiting. I wondered how many people are married but have a broken heart. It got me thinking and it was important that I share this knowledge with a lot of other couples so that we are all aware and are not ignorant of the devices of the devil -“Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices” (II Corinthians 2:11).-. The word of God says “My people perish for a lack of knowledge”-Hosea 4:6.

WHAT IS A HOUSE?
A house is a structure. There is no particular emotional attachment to it while a home is where you have created a living for yourself. You are emotionally attached to it. A home is where your heart is. It is often said that a house in which no one lives is nobody’s home. A family can live in a house and if they are always arguing and fighting then it’s not a home. A home is where the people in it love and care about each other. A home is where there is constant laughter, joy, but not necessarily without some storms, trials and tribulations along the way. It’s the way the family handles those challenges and rides the storms to victory that determines whether it is a house or a home.
A house can be exchanged or sold but a home is not just something you live in. It is where you have an identity.

WHAT IS A HOME?
A home is:
• A place of refuge
• Feel secure
• Associated with comfort
• Where you feel loved
• Build relationships
• A place to always come back to,
• A place to live flourish and grow; not just exist
• Unconditional love, acceptance, respect
• A place to unveil- be yourself
The abiding place of the affections, especially of the domestic affections.
Home is not a museum-like perfection; home is where the issues of life get fought out, but they can be resolved, because home is where somebody loves you. Home is not
but they can be resolved, because home is where somebody loves you. Home is not where somebody puts up with you or tolerates you.
“Home is where, when you go there, they have to take you in”- Robert Frost

DO YOU HAVE THE FOLLOWING IN YOUR HOME?
• Contentment- Be happy where you are. It matters not your location. You may live in a choice location and be able to afford everything money can buy and still not live in a home while on the other hand; you may live in a one room apartment and make it home. Like Adam & Eve did by making a garden their home, make where you reside your paradise. A home is not determined by riches.

• Joy-Are you happy in your home or are you just keeping up appearance? Are you weeping inside and full of regrets? You must remember that “the joy of the Lord is your strength”- Neh. 8:10.

• Honour- Do you love yourself and your spouse? A man should honour his wife so that his prayers will not be hindered-1 Pet. 3:7.

• Respect& Submission- “Wives submit yourself to your spouse”.-Eph. 5:22-23. “For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry”.- 1 Sam. 15:23

• Communication & Attention- speak to each other. Be aware of your spouse’s presence and put him/her into consideration no matter what

• Build relationships- Are you emotionally connected in your home? Body, spirit and soul?

• Unconditional love and acceptance- Are you received with joy even when you fail, misbehave or get it wrong? 1 John 4:7-8

• Be yourself(naked)- be goofy, act silly, laugh, smile, fart, burp etc

• Flourish-Be encouraged, complimented, admired

• Peace-No nagging, fights, abuses (verbal, emotional, financial, sexual and physical). The word of God says “it is better to dwell in the corner of a rooftop than in the house with a quarrelsome wife”- Prov.25:24; “continual dripping and a quarrelsome wife are the same” – Prov. 27:15

• Memories- Children thrive in an atmosphere of love. “Train a child the way he should go and when he is old, he will not depart from it”. Miscreants are said to be from broken homes and children who misbehave have no home training. Your children will learn more from you than any other person. These children are good seeds given to us by God but no matter how good a seed is; it cannot thrive on bad soil.
Let us always remember that you can live in a house and still be homeless. I pray for the grace, knowledge and understanding to turn our houses into homes. God bless you all.

If you require counseling in your personal and interpersonal relationships, we are here to
help, just send us an e-mail at info@pclng.org or call +234-(0)-817-313-7189 or +234-1-895-3395 to fix an appointment. We respect your privacy and assure you that we treat all cases with the highest level of confidentiality.

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Surulere, Lagos 110104
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+234-1-895-3395

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