Bebe Akinboade
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5 THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO A CHILD

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If you have a
child, are responsible for a child, or have children around you in any way and
at any time, you must erase these words from your vocabulary and refrain from
saying them to a child. This is because a child’s mind and perception of the
world is very fragile in their formative years, so you have to be careful not
to impact them negatively with your words. Jumia Travel, the leading online travel
agency, shares 5 things you should never say to a child.

“PRACTICE MAKES PERFECT”
This popular phrase is what most children have grown up hearing and most
parents erroneously believe that this phrase encourages a child to work harder
and attain great things. However, most of the time, this is not so. This adage
sends a message that if a child doesn’t win or excel, it means the child didn’t
work hard enough. This weakens the child’s confidence as he/she grows up
believing every failure is caused by his/her incompetence or inability to put
in enough effort. It’s better to say instead that ‘practice makes better’
rather than ‘practice makes perfect’.
“YOU’RE OKAY”
This is another popular phrase with Nigerian parents. It might seem like
the best thing to reassure a child that he/she is okay when he/she has been
hurt physically or emotionally, but it isn’t right to force this reality on a
child who just isn’t okay. For a child to be sad about something or to come
crying to you, it means the child is not okay. You should learn to help the
child acknowledge his/her emotions to help him/her understand and deal with
them, rather than dismiss them. It’s not like you should never say this to
a child, but there are some scenarios you shouldn’t say this.
“I’M ON A DIET”
If you struggle with your weight, shape or size, try to keep this struggle
as far away from a child as possible. If a child sees you stepping on a scale
every day and hears you complaining all the time about being fat and ugly,
he/she (especially girls) can develop body image issues. Rather than telling a
child you’re on diet, it’s better to say ‘I’m eating healthy and I exercise
because it’s great for the body and my heart’. This can inspire the child to
join you and live a healthy life.
“WE CAN’T AFFORD THAT”
Most people will think that being bold enough to tell a child this, is
teaching the child to be responsible, but this is more counter-productive than
productive. Keep money issues as far away as you can from children; they are
too young to bear that burden. Choose alternative light-hearted ways to tell
your child you can’t afford something. You can try saying you’re saving for
something special for the family or that you’ll get it for them later. If the
child insists, then it’s a perfect opportunity to teach the child in simple
terms about budgeting, saving and managing money.
“LET ME HELP”
Again, it’s not like you should never say this to a child, but you should
refrain from doing so often. It’s better to let the child ask or give some kind
of signal asking for help or even come to you for help, than you jumping in to
offer unsolicited help to a child. This can undermine the child’s independence
and cause him/her to start looking to others all the time for answers and
assistance. When your child asks for help, try asking guiding questions or
guiding the child first, to see if the child gets it on his/her own. If he/she
doesn’t, then you can help.

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